I've been extremely tired for weeks, can barely sleep through the night and let's not talk about all the aches and pains in my legs, pelvis, back etc...
The days seems to fly and by the time I get home from work, yes I am STILL working! I just wanna drop my extra 30 lbs on the bed and just RELAX if I can. Christmas is in less than a week and in just 2 or 3 more weeks Akemi Rose will enter our lives and change it forever...
We didn't get a x-mas tree this year...I feel a little guilty about it but I am just SO tired...It overwhelms me to pick it out, pick it up, drive it home, put it on the stand, give it water, put the lights, ornaments (although the darling husband would be the one truly doing all the heavy lifting, it's still tiring!)
Just writing it all out makes me tired! Am I bad person? My husband thinks it's fine although he actually wanted to get one but instead I bought a fake, pre lit one for $20 and surprised him! Let me just say that it's the SADDEST looking tree I've ever seen and we had a good laugh over it last night :) It's seriously pathetic but there it is...in all it's 3 foot glory just waiting for us to love it...so we are giving in and making her a part of our history..."The year we had the sad little pre-lit, 3 foot fake tree" I will have to post a pic at some point so you see what I mean!
I guess I just imagine NEXT year being such a magical time (not that this isn't already) but I guess I picture her possibly even being able to stand on her own, in front of the tree in her dress and new shoes and bow in her hair...She will actually be HERE as opposed to inside my tummy and we then we can make the biggest deal about a tree and lights and decorations to celebrate her and her life...
I am ok with this year keeping it low key and just being present and happy in the last few quiet moments we have together as just us "two"...
I keep on wondering when she will make her debut...It could be any day now I guess since I am in that period of waiting now but it still boggles my mind and fills me with such anticipation. She's really coming isn't she? The hospital bag is packed with the things they say to bring...the pediatrician has been chosen, the pre-registering at the hospital has been done and we attended 2 birthing classes and asked all of our most important questions...(I am still a little confused and freaked out about breast feeding but that we will talk about in another blog session) :)
So here I am on Dec 19th, awake as the Sun thinking, wondering...(trying to not think about how I have to PEE for the 23rd time today) but mostly praying all the time that everything goes as smoothly as it can go. I pray we don't need a C-section, I pray for a healthy, beautiful, chubby little girl who will feel loved and safe the minute she is born and put in our arms...
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