Whoa Nelly it's been a while...

Hi everyone in the blogosphere...It's safely been over a year since I've written I think...how does time escape us so?? It's kind of ridiculous and not ok...

Anyway hope all is well out there. My Akemi Rose is now 21 months and will soon be 22 months. Can you believe she knows the alphabet and the numbers 1-10...I make her say them everyday. I giggle so much when I hear her say...Mami, tewww (2) I just love her so much and she's growing so fast! Husband is ready for #2 but I AM NOT. anyone else out there understand that I am not ready yet??
maybe next year, laaaate next year we can start trying. maybe.

Quick catch up. Last I left you all, I was a stay at home trying to figure it all out and not being very successful...
Well I have since gone back to my job as a Talent Agent and now I am fiercely trying to get in shape! it's not easy, not any of it. I cry of hunger everyday since quitting BREAD and Coca-Cola (soda of any kind really) You can all gasp at the commitment...even I can't believe I'm sticking to it. I started Oct 2nd and today is 10/23 wooooo-hooo! I was 136 and I am now 131.8 (that's good right?) please say that I am doing well! I so need approval :/ #needy

anyway...I am thinking of starting to blog and even vlog about my progress, my meltdowns, my anxiety attacks, life in general and you are more than welcome to cry with me and help me get through it together! I am posting a picture of Akemi taken within the last few weeks so you can see how BIG she's gotten. I swear sometimes I think to myself, how did I get this blessed?? She's an amazing little person with a fire and cleverness that shakes me cold.

I want to write a lot more and have dialog with you, so please feel free to write me and comment and just talk! I love to hear from ya and what's happening in YOUR home :)

toodles for now...
xo-Deniece
(can you believe how cute she is??)

This is for my husband...

love this.

Simply amazing...

Your smile does something to my heart that I will never accurately be able to describe. It's pure heaven. Sunshine and magic. This photo was taken during a photo-shoot for our new etsy store!

Well we did it!!!


I hope everyone can check out the link to my new Etsy store that officially launched TODAY :)
http://www.etsy.com/shop/akemirosecollection
I have only listed one item so far cause it takes quite a bit of time to properly list each headband, bow, clip and being a full time Mommy has little breaks, if any…

I have about 14 different items to put up so as soon as Akemi goes down for her big 3 hr nap, I will be list-list-listing awayyyy!! I am currently typing one handed as I rock her in my other arm. Gotta do whacha-gotta-do, right? RIGHT!!!

I’m very excited and hope you check it out. Please feel free to pass along my link or Etsy store name, “The Akemi Rose Collection” to people you know or who may like what I am handmaking :) Everything is one of a kind! Couture is the only way to be ;)
Have a great Monday everyone!
10% off to my very first buyer :)
Happy Shopping!

It's my Mother's birthday today. I wish she knew just how much I love her...
How much I appreciate her and how much I miss her. She lives in CT and I don't... :(
I know I will see her again soon, but today she turns 60! I wish I had enough money to fly to see her with Akemi Rose and my hubby and then drive to NYC to have lunch at the Rainbow Room. I know one day I will surprise her with this so I am not worried but still, I wish I could have done that for her today.

I know you won't read this Mom, but I hope you know how loved you are. I am always thinking about you, praying that God keeps you safe and hoping we get to see each other really soon...

Happy Birthday Rose, I love you to the moon and back...

Hi all...
Well I have been a little busy lately. You know with taking care of a baby and all...
Recently, I guess you could say the last month or so, I've been going through some emotional rollercoaster rides....totally normal right? Right!

Ok so what I have decided to do, is STOP feeling sorry for myself. STOP complaining, STOP crying, STOP thinking it's too hard! I have always been the type of person that says "Hey , if you don't like something, CHANGE it!" So that's what I am doing! I'm taking my own advice!
I began tapping into my creative side lately :) I LOVE photography and I LOVE crafting and I LOOOOOVE MY baby girl. I really like buying bows and headbands for Akemi SOOOO I thought, "hey, instead of spending a lot of money I don't have on other people's bows, why not create my own? So I did and I am! Not only that, but I have decided to open an Etsy store. AHHH!!!! You know Etsy, right? Right!

SO I won't announce the OFFICIAL announcement of it's opening just yet. I took all my pictures, created about 10-14 new pieces in the last few weeks and now I am just adding finishing touches to make it really special. Akemi is such an inspiration for EVERYTHING and she deserved better bows, more creative headbands and pretty all around girly things :) doncha agree? Don't all our kids deserve one of a kind stuff? RIGHT!

I am SO excited. It's just the beginning. I am fusing my passion for photography with my creative juices and craft making skills to hopefully make one KICK ASS STORE she can be proud of one day. Everything will be handmade and one of a kind! I've always wanted to do something A-la couture, custom fabulosity and hopefully this is the start of a great business! It's already doing wonders for my soul and it's making me feel important and like I have something important to put out in the world. Not that bows and headband making are gonna win me an Nobel Peace prize, but it's a START!

I also wanted to say that I created a blog on Tumblr so in case any of you out there are on tumblr, please feel free to follow me along. It's a blog that's just me talking and writing letters to Akemi, posting pictures of quotes and things I want to tell and teach her. I am marking down every milestone and more importantly letting her know how I feel about her. I don't want to take this blog down even though it was created for that purpose but hey I suffer from ADD and here I am, so just accept me please. I may just cut and copy what I have done so far over there, over here...but man that seems like a daunting task! anyway I'll post a link below so you can see it and will most likely add a widget or something so it's easy to view and click and I'll post when I've added something new!

Anyway, I've noticed a lot more viewers to my page and that really excites, motivates and makes me feel all kinds of squishy inside so thank you!! I want the world to know my Akemi and watch as her life unfolds. She is starting to giggle and it MELTS my heart in a serious way. Her smile is nothing short of a miracle and the way she makes me feel every day is simply magical. I see her growing and thriving and I want to create a wonderful world for her that let's her know that anything is possible and to always be a "happy, positive, humble" person. Her life is going to be amazing because she is just that!

Thanks for stoppin in...meet me at tumblr and meet me on Pinterest too! I'm OBSESSED with that place, my goodness! OH and meet me at Etsy! I will post a link and officially announce the stores Grand unveiling very soon!  :) April has been a month of a thousand blessings so far and I hope you guys are having a fantastic life. Remember, every second that goes by is another chance to turn it all around...

xoxoxo

http://akemirose.tumblr.com/
https://pinterest.com/heygorge/

Hope these links work! let me know if they don't!!
ps. I had to post this picture of Akemi that I took a few days ago. She's wearing my headband and laughing at my silly songs! Isn't she incredible?

Akemi is...

such an amazing baby. seriously, I am not sure how we got so blessed. She is so happy and warm and cuddly and just wants to see, touch, stand and laugh at everything. I feel as though I've known her for so much longer than she's been alive. Does that make ANY sense?
My emotional level lately has been through the roof...
I don't know about any other Mom's out there but it feels sometimes like my heart can't handle all the love. It's an overwhelming, paralyzing, too good to be true, unbelievable feeling when I look at her. When she smiles, NOTHING else matters. When she smiles, the world, the clocks, the entire motion of the human race just stops and all there is, is that wonderfully delicious smile that makes my world go round. I keep thinking to myself that one of these times, I will feel these emotions a little less.
NOPE, it happens over and over and stronger and stronger. I wish I could tell her exactly how I feel. I wish she knew that there is nothing I wouldn't do for her, I wish she knew that she doesn't ever have to worry about anything ever. Mommy is here, always and beyond forever...

on my mind...

I want to go to Japan, I want to surprise my Husband and bring him to see Greece, I wanna eat pizza in Italy, I wanna eat pizza, I want to bring Akemi to meet Mickey, I wanna go to rehearsal, I wanna take everyone I love on vacation, I want to sing and laugh, maybe at the same time. I want to open up a bakery and an antique jewelry store, I want some new heels and have my hair washed and I could use a super duper massage. I want to have a cafesito with a much wiser older person who wears a fabulous big black hat wth huge sunglasses and who just fills my afternoon with stories of yesterday...that's a lot of wants but that's what's on my mind.

Moving right along...

OOOOk...so this Mom stuff is soo much harder and trickier than anyone ever truthfully tells you but you know what...I don't blame them. I used to get mad at people that didn't tell me "how hard this really was" but really why should they? Second of all, no one can ever properly prepare you for what this life changing experience will do to you!! I can't begin to write down all the things I've learned. It's really all trial and error, patience, strength, love, more patience and adjustment. There are days, not gonna lie here, that are so hard all I can do is cry. I imagine this to be quite normal for a first time parent but these are the things I never heard other Mom's say while I was pregnant asking questions. From the moment they are in your arms, to breast feeding, to bringing them home, to your first day ALONE with them, to changing a onesie, bathing them for the first time, burping them, figuring out what your body is doing and getting re-used to the way things kinda were but will never be again...it's needless to say A LOT! I guess my blog (when I even have time to write on it) will be changing as of this point. I want to be completely honest about all of my feelings because believe it or not, they aren't always HAPPY and JOY and BLISS and MIRACLE-like...some days are so hard you wonder if you will make it to the next hour without screaming. Let's not even add to all of this postpartum depression. I am not sure if I had it or even still have it...There were and are some days were I am so incredibly emotional and full of anxiety and scared of how I feel and how I will handle everything coming my way at such a fast pace. It's hard. HARD people, HARD. I know some women may read my words and understand and say YES, this girl gets it and some just won't. I don't know what planet some other women are on. I am not bad mouthing them in any way. Maybe I am just incredibly jealous of those  Mother's who from the start everything seemed soooo easy. They gave birth without an epidural, they didn't need an episiotomy, their recovery time was a breeze, their babies latched on right away and there was no pain involved, just a magical bond between Mother and baby and not to mention OVER-SUPPLY of milk these women seem to have?? I have no idea on what PLANET this all occurs on cause all I have mentioned in my list of dreams, was the exact OPPOSITE for me. Don't get me started on how they seem to juggle cooking, cleaning, crafting, exercising and look amazing when they step out of their home to go to Target!

I wish it hadn't taken me until NOW to KIND OF get it together. It's only now that I beginning to be a little bit ahead of the game with her. It's only now that I am feeling a little bit of peace and comfort with her around and somewhat like a NORMAL person. PLEASE don't read this blog entry and take it all as a complaint on my part. I mean, I guess it is a little but I am simply choosing to magnify and write out the feelings and experiences I've had over the past 2 months as a journaling and healing technique. I have read so many others words and blogs and heard stories that have hit home with me and have helped me to feel a little saner...I would hope that maybe MY words help some other new Mom out there that has absolutely no idea what's going on and who feel like an ALIEN no one understands. That is the point of this whole thing any way. I wanted to document my experiences, learn, grow, share and HELP. There is no point in any of this if it's not to help others and hopefully make some connections...
I am motivated about the fact that I can get on here and just speak the truth with no worries of judgment (mostly because I won't know if you are ;)

anyway...hope all is well out there on a Monday afternoon...it has taken me from 11am - 2:40pm to write this because of all the starting and stopping because um, well...I have a baby ;)

Before I depart I will say that no matter how tired I get, how frustrated I become, how many tears I shed, there is NOTHING I wouldn't do a thousand times over again for this little precious baby girl. THIS, I know for a fact. To see her smile and look into my eyes and rock her to sleep is the sweetest miracle of life. I love her with all of my heart and soul and wouldn't trade a moment of this experience so far. Geez, God sure does know what he's doing...

L.O.V.E

4 Wednesdays ago on January 4th at 2:30pm our daughter took her first breath and my life truly began. To try and describe how I have felt since that moment is purely impossible. All I know is that every day I look at her and I seriously wonder how my heart doesn't explode out of my chest...Literally thanking God for every second, every minute, hour and day he allows me to spend with her ♥

So far...

So good...

our only struggle is making her sleep more at night...:( (<-----insert sleepy parents here)
Anyone have any good suggestions? Our Dr. told us to wake her every 2 hrs during the day so she realizes it's not night time in the morning or during the day! Apparently she's a bit of a night owl...but such a CUTE one :)

Yesterday was my first day ALONE with her.
No Mother, no Mother in law or husband but I am happy to report that we made it!
We gave her a nice warm bath (and she didn't cry...gasp) and then fed her and she went down for about 3 hrs. That seems to be her limit...3 hrs. and I am NOT complaining...I'll take it! It will be lovely when she can sleep 4 or 5 hrs and when WE can actually catch up on sleep and normal life again. I sure do miss my husband.


I gotta say...those who are thinking of having a baby should REALLY speak to someone who just had a newborn. I always knew it would be a lot of work but this is A LOT OF WORK. There is pretty much no rest, no time and I find it almost impossible to make a quick phone call or even take a shower...there is ALWAYS something to do or bottles to wash or SOMETHING!!! I am surprised I am even typing on this computer right now but today for some reason I finished chores earlier and left bottles ready to go and took a shower late last night so I get a little extra treat time today for just little ol' me ;)

Speaking of...she's starting to fuss in the crib so I have to wrap it up! See what I mean?
Please let me know of any advice on the sleeping at night...
any tricks? anything! Hope all you Mommies are doing well and have happy, healthy, eating, sleeping babies!!

PS. How long am I supposed to be doing tummy time for during the day?

Today...

So today my Mother in law showed me the right way to give her a bath! I have been doing little wash cloth baths for days because I have been so scared of the newborn sling we have or using real running water but TODAY, I learned how to give her a proper bath! To my surprise she didn't cry all that much and she seemed to like the warm, trickling water :) In all honesty she reminded me of a little puppy getting a bath for the first time...you know what I am talking about right? They look so tiny when they are drenched in all that water and it just makes them look that much cuter (if that's possible)...

Anyway that was the big highlight of the day! One day at a time and one highlight a day is a pretty big deal...We are getting used to a little routine although getting through the night is the hardest. She seems to want to be the MOST awake and have a Mommy-Daddy party around 3:30 am...I am hoping in a few weeks we get in a better routine but it's so hard to keep her awake during the day! I sing and I read to her but to not much is working for me.

All in all she is SUCH a good baby. She sleeps like a champ and eats WAY more than I expected...I was nursing but I have to keep supplementing with formula every other feeding because it never seems to be enough!  Is anyone else going through this? This coming Wednesday she will be 3 weeks old already. I can't believe how slowly the time went before I had her and now the minutes seem to fly off of the clock! I want her to stay this little forever. Is it possible? Pretty please? I mean...just LOOK at this face!!!!

                                    
I am now on the search for a Mommy and Me newborn class or a group of new Moms that I can meet and talk to and share with. If anyone knows of any in the Miami or Miami Beach area, please let me know! G'night

Guess who is HERE :)

Hi everyone...
SOOOO my last post was on January 3rd right??
Well...guess who's water broke at 3:30am that night??? Or I guess I should say January 4th, early in the AM :)

WOW. What an incredible journey!!! It was 3:30am and I woke to use the restroom and felt as though I "couldn't make it" and ya know what? I couldn't! My water broke as I arrived in my bathroom and it did not stop!!! I got so nervous and scared...I didn't know what was happening! I called out to my husband and he rushed over, looked at me and said... Honey, THIS IS IT! ( It was like a scene out of a movie, really)

We called the Doctor and they said head over to the hospital :)
We packed up the last minutes essentials and on the coldest night this Florida winter has seen this year, we were off :) I called my Mother, my Father and we texted everyone we knew ;) I will spare you all the labor details...:)

She has officially been here for 2 weeks and 1 day...
My Akemi Rose was born on January 4th @ 2:30pm weighing 7lbs and 7 oz. 19 inches long...
Labor and delivery went as best as it could have gone and I only pushed for about 30 minutes! She is BEAUTIFUL and I am still in a bit of shock that she is REALLY, REALLY here...

My heart has been singing and soaring ever since and she is the most wonderful, delicious, loveliest, smartest, funniest, little baby the world has ever seen. I see amazing things in her future and the love I have in my heart for her already is nothing short of amazing. My life is complete. I have been waiting for my angel for a REALLY long time and now I soak up every second I have with her. I cry tears of pure happiness like never before. Thank you GOD for giving me this gift. There are really no words to describe how she makes me feel.

oh heyyy 2012...

HI everyone...how is it going out there is blog land?

I've missed writing my thoughts out and lots of emotions and moments have passed in the last few weeks so here we go...

Let's see...Christmas has gone by and now we are officially in full swing of 2012 and I just couldn't be happier!!! Akemi Rose is still as snug as a bug in my womb but I am hoping she decides to make her official entrance very soon...I took a tour of the maternity/labor and delivery wing at the hospital and it was fantastic! I am so full of anticipation and wonder and can't wait till it's THE day for us!
I have not dilated yet though *sigh...

Doc said she is low but cervix is closed so on to this Friday the 6th for my 39th week appointment...wow 39 weeks...even as I type it, I can't believe it's been 39 weeks already!!!
I don't know why I thought she would have come a while ago...she moves SO much that I just thought and felt as though she wanted OUT...but it seems as though I was wrong. Ah well...she will let me know when she is ready, right? I guess we are a little relieved that she didn't come on X-MAS Eve or X-MAS day or NYE or New Years Day! Pheeeew...she won't hate us for having to share a birthday on one of the biggest holidays of the year. Crisis averted! Now I can think of way to make each and every birthday meaningful and special for her with no distractions!!

We had a really nice quiet Christmas Eve with dinner for 2 at a really nice restaurant near our house...
Christmas day was very nice too. My darling of a husband got me a personalized inscribed bracelet that has all of our names (his, mine and Akemi's) and a very loving message on the back. I love it so much, wear it everyday and will treasure it always...It's going to be one of those times I will always remember and tell her about one day...the Christmas right before she came into our lives. New Years was a lot of fun at his Aunt's house where they made me dance to all the Salsa songs I could handle in hope to see if it would propel me into labor...it did not work haha. All in all in all we had some great holidays and ate great food and most importantly, I felt as though my husband and I got some good "quality, quiet" time together...It's important to have those lazy days in bed especially BEFORE you have a baby where "quiet time" will soon be in short supply! I love Emilio so much and simply can't wait to see him as a Daddy...I think lots of tears are in store for my eye ducts this coming month...

Now, I would like to talk about this HUGE belly I have. I mean it's ridiculous. I am starting to think that no one at my Doctors wants to tell me how much she already weighs as to not scare the bee-gees outta me and the labor! I am getting a bit frustrated especially at night cause it just seems to be the party hour for her. Literally around 2 am she was bouncing inside my tummy so much that the strength this little girl already has is incredible! Speaking of strength...what if I don't have it on "labor day" ???
I am getting so nervous about the "pain" that will come and by the way,  have I mentioned that I am trying to do this ALL natural -_-  No inducing, no epidural, NADA! I know many of you are laughing...but there is something in me that REALLY wants to do this "a la natural"...pain and all. Women have been doing it for years right? I'm not gonna die (God forbid) so why couldn't I do it? It's one day of pain and soon I will forget all about it and want to do it all over again! ;-) I am really curious to see how it will all unfold and of course I will be blogging about it...ohhh I just had a thought of blogging while in delivery room...that might help me keep my thoughts off of the pain! What do you think??

I have much more to say but for now, I will end today's blog by asking Mommy's out there about which one is your most favorite diaper bag and why. I realized this past weekend that I don't have one and I am starting my search online and in the stores but I have to say that I find most of them to be a tad um...expensive? Why so much money? Granted it's a product I will really need but geez...is it necessary to spend $79.99, $89.99 or even $159.00??
Not this Mommy! So if anyone has a great website to order from or a store they can recommend,  I'd love to know!

I hope everyone is warm and snuggly out there and hope to hear from some of you soon!!
I will leave you with some pictures from the end of 2011 and the glorious beginning of 2012...

As always, thanks for reading and commenting :)
xoxo

                                                                   It's like a small planet...

My amazing husband and I on New Years Eve...2011...<3

Akemi...

The most beautiful Kanji writing I've ever seen...AKEMI.

 Akemi is Japanese, meaning "Beautiful and Brilliant"... and that, she will be.

LOVE...no matter what!

Dear Bloggers...

I have a really good friend who I used to sing and dance and play with on the stages at the Walt Disney World Company...He is and always remains an inspiration to me and my life and he has the chance to win a "Dream Wedding" for him and his partner Donald...if they win they get to say I do at the top of the Empire State building on Feb 14th 2012 !! How fabulously romanticals and wonderful :)
I am posting a link to a video they made and I am asking you to vote as well...

I know you don't know them but just vote for LOVE, vote for EQUALITY and FREEDOM and for people who truly deserve to be together in love no always no matter their religion, race or sexual nature. Everyone deserves to be loved and if you are lucky enough to find that ONE person that makes everything in your life make sense, hold on to it and never let it go.
I am so happy for you Juan and Donald, I really love you and I hope all your dreams come true...

https://apps.facebook.com/colincowieweddings/contests/166579/voteable_entries/40066064

All about the past...

Don't you think it's pretty amazing that if you look back to your ancestors...you find yourself? You find your soul and your truth?
I just found out the other night that my Great Grandmother Maria was a midwife. This shocked and amazed me but then again not really. OF COURSE she was a midwife. It makes perfect sense because of who she was.

As a child I LOVED her, was inspired by her mere presence but had no idea why. She lived to be 106 years old... that's ummm pretty amazing, no? who lives that long anymore? God LOVED her and kept her around for more than people could ever hope for. She LIVED in every way possible.

She mothered 7 children. SEVEN. ( I need to stop complaining about how hard pregnancy can be)
She helped pregnant women meet their babies for the first time. She cut umbilical cords, cleaned them up and hand delivered them to mother's arms...what an AMAZING, INCREDIBLE job to have. What an experience. What bravery. What love.

I love that God loves me so much that he would put a woman LIKE THAT in my life. I came from her.
Now Akemi will come from her too. What a gift. I am overwhelmed with this knowledge and feel so comforted to know she will be with us in the delivery room. Witnessing, loving, blessing, protecting and guiding.

I hope there is someone of this much importance in your life. I knew she was incredible but it took 33 years for me to truly REALIZE that not too long ago, I was in the presence of an honest to goodness angel.

Te quiero Abuelona. Hoy y siempre.

Almost there...

I've been slacking in the "blog" department so here I am at 11:09 on Monday night Dec 19th 2011...36 weeks of being pregnant and getting VERY excited for "the big day"

I've been extremely tired for weeks, can barely sleep through the night and let's not talk about all the aches and pains in my legs, pelvis, back etc...
The days seems to fly and by the time I get home from work, yes I am STILL working! I just wanna drop my extra 30 lbs on the bed and just RELAX if I can. Christmas is in less than a week and in just 2 or 3 more weeks Akemi Rose will enter our lives and change it forever...

We didn't get a x-mas tree this year...I feel a little guilty about it but I am just SO tired...It overwhelms me to pick it out, pick it up, drive it home, put it on the stand, give it water, put the lights, ornaments (although the darling husband would be the one truly doing all the heavy lifting, it's still tiring!)
Just writing it all out makes me tired! Am I bad person? My husband thinks it's fine although he actually wanted to get one but instead I bought a fake, pre lit one for $20 and surprised him! Let me just say that it's the SADDEST looking tree I've ever seen and we had a good laugh over it last night :) It's seriously pathetic but there it is...in all it's 3 foot glory just waiting for us to love it...so we are giving in and making her a part of our history..."The year we had the sad little pre-lit, 3 foot fake tree" I will have to post a pic at some point so you see what I mean!

I guess I just imagine NEXT year being such a magical time (not that this isn't already) but I guess I picture her possibly even being able to stand on her own, in front of the tree in her dress and new shoes and bow in her hair...She will actually be HERE as opposed to inside my tummy and we then we can make the biggest deal about a tree and lights and decorations to celebrate her and her life...
I am ok with this year keeping it low key and just being present and happy in the last few quiet moments we have together as just us "two"...

I keep on wondering when she will make her debut...It could be any day now I guess since I am in that period of waiting now but it still boggles my mind and fills me with such anticipation. She's really coming isn't she? The hospital bag is packed with the things they say to bring...the pediatrician has been chosen, the pre-registering at the hospital has been done and we attended 2 birthing classes and asked all of our most important questions...(I am still a little confused and freaked out about breast feeding but that we will talk about in another blog session) :)

So here I am on Dec 19th, awake as the Sun thinking, wondering...(trying to not think about how I have to PEE for the 23rd time today) but mostly praying all the time that everything goes as smoothly as it can go. I pray we don't need a C-section, I pray for a healthy, beautiful, chubby little girl who will feel loved and safe the minute she is born and put in our arms...

Rough does not seem to cover it...

Haha ... So I found this in my drafts and I guess I never posted it. Maybe I was embarrassed and scared of the judgement but I've decided to post it now for all of you to have a good laugh at ... Enjoy!
Written sometime in November!!



It seems as though I might be hitting a bit of a wall and when I say wall, I mean a HARD, BRICK WALL! Anyone else been there? I can't IMAGINE any Mom's out there who are reading this and saying "hmm..no, actually I was perfectly happy and perfect during my whole pregnancy!" I know, I know...BUT GEEZ!!!  I was on such a happy streak and suddenly this week has turned into a full fledged nightmare. I can't seem to sleep anymore. (insert very sad face here) I am so tired throughout the day and then at night it's like a disco ball with flashing lights gets turned on and Akemi starts to party and dance in my belly. Not only does SHE keep me awake but my mind racing with thoughts of what I still have to do, should do, should not do, should be thinking about, preparing, worrying YOU NAME IT! The list goes on and on...ughhhh.

I am clumsy and knock things over all the time and then can't bend over to pick them up! I then get so upset by the amount of times this happens that all of a sudden I find myself staring at the item on the ground and proceed to cry. I also cry when I can only last about 3 minutes on either my right or left side when I try to lay down. NOTHING WORKS. Am I supposed to sleep sitting up? Someone get real with me...does this get any better? I would assume NOT. My stomach is right up underneath my chest and doing something as simple as taking a breath or yawning is difficult. I get cut off by the lack of room under there.

I am hoping in 2 months I can laugh at all of this and say OH-EM-GEE was I miserable or what!! Miserable but ALLLLL worth it! Right?? Someone? Anyone??